Indecent
by Irrepressable
Summary: Rose and the Doctor are in New York to witness a historical event and she gets separated from him. Rose is surprised by a streaker, but she thinks she's identified him. Can the Doctor prove his innocence or will Rose think that he's lewd, rude, and in the mood to run in the nude? Features an appearance by an A Nightmare In Portland character.


**Every few days, I like to crank out a new oneshot. Generally, I write these as the ideas come to me. This idea has been stewing around my head for a while, or at least one line has. It's just taken a while for a story to take form. I just needed to pick a time and place for Doctor and Rose to be. I looked around me for inspiration. I felt my phone ring in my pocket. I answered it and realized exactly when and where I should put the Doctor and Rose. This story takes place in the same universe as** _ **A Nightmare In Portland**_ **.**

Both Rose and the Doctor had been relieved when she had gotten back from America. With Jackie's crazy relatives out of the way, the only thing standing in the way was Jackie herself. Well, she wasn't standing that much in the way. It wasn't like she could do anything to _stop_ Rose from travelling with the Doctor. The duo had gone on several adventures through space and time, generally trying to be careful around cheese. It wouldn't do for the Doctor to suffer from Quesodynian cheese intoxication and do something awkward around- or worse, to- Rose. Again. At least it hadn't taken long for things to return to normal between them. The Doctor's sloppy, drunken kiss was all but forgotten. Yes, things were definitely back to normal.

The Doctor whirled around to face in Rose's direction and asked, "So, where do you want to go this time, Rose?"

Rose paused for a while and said, "The past. Show me a technological breakthrough."

The Doctor grinned and said, "A technological breakthrough? I have just the thing in mind."

The Time Lord dashed around the console room, pressing buttons and pulling levers. Finally, he pulled the last lever, sending the TARDIS hurtling through space and time. When they arrived at their destination, Rose and the Doctor both eagerly headed to the exit. The Doctor was the first to step out of the TARDIS. When Rose was at his side, the Time Lord declared, "Welcome to New York! It's the 3rd of April, 1973. Today will mark the day that Martin Cooper makes history's very first mobile phone call."

Rose raised a brow and said, "This is the 'technological breakthrough'? Someone makes a call on a mobile?"

"The very _first_ call!" the Doctor corrected her.

"All right," Rose said, still skeptical, "But if this ends up being boring, you're buying me a New York hot dog."

"It's the first mobile phone call, Rose!" the Doctor exclaimed. "When we get there, the last thing you'll be thinking about is food."

The Doctor grabbed Rose by the hand, grinning broadly, and said, "Let's go! We don't want to miss it!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To Rose's dismay, she and the Doctor had to take seperate taxis. Rose was the first to arrive. She ran down the sidewalk, hoping to see something. She was in so much of a hurry that she nearly collided with a man in his forties. "Sorry." they both apologized.

There was a crowd gathered. Rose disappeared into the crowd. The man that Rose had nearly collided with pulled out a brick-sized device and began pressing buttons on it. There was a pause before the man brought the device up to his head and said, "Joel, this is Marty. I'm calling you from a cell phone, a real handheld portable cell phone."

So this was the historical event that the Doctor had intended to take her to. Rose looked around. She didn't see him. It was a shame that he had missed it. The significance of the event was not lost on Rose. After this day in history, the world would never be the same. Whether the Doctor still owed her that hot dog or not was still up to debate. Rose glanced around again and saw a man dashing by. Other than a sequined red half mask, he was wearing absolutely nothing. Rose gasped and blushed deeply. The crowd seemed so distracted by the events in front of them that very few noticed the naked man running behind them. And just like that, he was gone. That man was one of the fastest runners Rose had ever seen, and she had gotten a _very_ good look at him. Her face still red, Rose left to look for the Doctor.

Rose had searched for about an hour when she heard panting coming from an alley. She took a glance down the alley and who else did she see but the naked man from before. He was trying to catch his breath. When he whipped off his mask to wipe the sweat from his forehead, his face was revealed to Rose, and it shocked her to the core. "Doctor?" the blonde gasped.

The man who appeared to be the Doctor, hearing Rose's voice, whipped his head around to look at her. Their eyes met for a half a second before the man was off and running again. Rose ran after him, but even in his winded state, the Doctor was faster than she was. Suddenly, a van pulled up. The Doctor quickly climbed into the back of the van, and just like that, he was gone. Rose had never been more shocked and confused in her life.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rose took a cab back to the location of the TARDIS. Unfortunately, the sentient timeship wouldn't let her in, even with her key. Rose was frustrated. If the TARDIS wouldn't let her in, that probably meant that the Doctor hadn't come back yet. Even though the fact that Rose had seen him in his birthday suit would probably make things awkward for quite some time, she still cared deeply about the man. She wondered, what could possibly make the Time Lord run around in public, _naked_?

She leaned against the large blue box with a sigh. Suddenly, she heard two people talking about 'a funny drunken Englishman in a pinstriped suit'. Immediately, Rose whirled around and asked, "Where is he?"

The couple gave Rose an odd look before informing her of his last known location. She immediately headed over. Again, she took a taxi, but she got caught in traffic. It wasn't until several hours later that she arrived at his last known location: a rather nice-looking hotel. She walked up to the man at the front desk and asked if he had seen the Doctor. She gave a rough physical description before the man nodded. "Are you his girlfriend?" the man asked.

"No!" Rose said, blushing slightly. "I'm not his girlfriend. We're just really, really good friends."

"Rose, right?" the man guessed. "He did say that if you showed up, we should send you up to him."

The man handed Rose a key and told her what room he was in. She thanked the man and headed off to locate the Doctor. When she arrived at the room, she saw one of his shoes hanging from the doorknob and his pinstriped trousers on the floor. The memory of his naked body running through the streets returned to her mind. It would probably be ages before she could look at him without blushing. Not sure what she would find on the other side of the door, Rose first knocked. The Doctor's voice came, a bit muffled, from the other side of the door. "I told you, Yvonne, I'm not interested in you. Even if I _were_ still intoxicated, I would never be _that_ intoxicated."

Rose removed the shoe from the doorknob before calling out, "Doctor, it's Rose. Are you decent?"

There was a brief pause before the Doctor replied, "I don't have my trousers, but everything is covered. You can come in."

Rose picked up the Doctor's trousers and opened the door. She saw the Doctor sitting at the edge of the bed, head clutched in his hands. He was wearing only his boxers- they had little TARDISes printed on them. The rest of his clothing was strewn about on the floor, minus one shoe and a pair of trousers. Awkwardly, Rose said, "I, ah, found your trousers."

The Doctor rubbed his aching temples and grumbled, "I thought we had gotten rid of that cheese."

"I thought I'd eaten it all." Rose said, embarrassed.

Suddenly, the events of today all came together. The running. The nudity. The cheese. Rose's eyes narrowed. "Cheese-drunk or not, that doesn't give you an excuse to run around _naked_ in Midtown Manhattan."

"Naked?" the Doctor questioned, "What are you talking about?"

"You were there after that man made that call on that brick phone. You ran past, completely naked. You were lucky that no one else noticed!" Rose shouted, scolding the Doctor.

The Doctor clutched his head again and groaned, "Rose, please, not so loud."

Rose only lowered her voice slightly as she continued, "And here I find you, hiding away, with your clothes no doubt exactly where you left them strewn about before running around like a naked idiot!"

The Doctor perked his head up and said, "Well, that proves it. It can't have been me."

"What proves it?" Rose asked.

"It proves that I hadn't left this room naked." the Doctor replied. "I do not, nor have I ever, left my clothes strewn about on the floor before running around in the nude."

There was an ever-so-brief pause before the Time Lord continued, "I fold them first."

Rose's face was still as red as a tomato. "You've done this before?"

The Doctor nodded and said, "It was quite some time ago, it was on a dare, and yes, there was cheese involved. It's also proof that Sarah Jane should not drink when I am in the presence of an unknown cheese."

"So you're saying that Sarah Jane Smith got drunk and _dared_ you, while you were cheese-drunk, to run around naked?" Rose quetioned.

"In 1484, in front of the Pope." The Doctor said. "And I wasn't _completely_ naked. I was wearing a scarf."

"A scarf?" Rose echoed.

"A very _long_ scarf." the Doctor clarified.

"So," Rose said, "It wasn't _you_ that I saw, but a man that looked just like you?"

"It's happened before." the Doctor replied. "Only last time, I was arrested for stealing a goat."

"I'd say that this is worse than goat theft." Rose said, frowning.

The Doctor was silent for a moment before beaming and saying, "Well, no harm done."

"No harm done?" Rose said, upset. "No harm done? Someone with your face is running around _naked_!"

" _Was_ running around naked, Rose Tyler." The Doctor corrected. "If it happened more than once, it would have been in the news by now."

Rose sighed and set the Doctor's trousers down on his bed before leaving to let him get dressed. A few minutes later, the room's door opened and the Doctor exited. The duo made their way down to the lobby. When they exited the building, someone barrelled into the Doctor, nearly knocking him down. The person stood up straight before dusting themselves off. Standing in front of them was a girl of about fourteen. She had a floor-length skirt and a peasant blouse on. A camera hung from around her neck. She had blonde hair and looked very, very familiar to the Doctor. The girl looked up at the Doctor, wide eyed. "Doctor Smith, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm afraid you have me mistaken for someone else." the Doctor said. "I'm not-"

A voice sounding like the Doctor's, only with an American accent, sounded from around the corner. "Harmony Laurel Brown, where have you been? Your parents called me and they're worried sick about you!"

The man was a dead ringer for the Doctor, only with different clothes. The only thing they had in common were their shoes. The not-Doctor was wearing jeans and a white tee shirt. The Doctor and the Not-Doctor looked at eachother, puzzled. Harmony looked back and forth between the Doctor and the Not-Doctor. "My teacher, the illustrious Doctor John Smith, has met his doppelganger." Harmony observed out loud. "Groovy!"

It was then that John Smith noticed Rose. He immediately paled, but he didn't say anything out of sorts. He smiled awkwardly and said, "Like Harmony said, I'm her teacher, Doctor John Smith. Who might you be?"

The Doctor was about to say something, when Rose came up with a quick alias. "He's Doctor Greg House." Rose said. "I'm Lisa Cuddy."

John nodded and said, "It's nice to meet you."

John put his hand on Harmony's shoulder and said, "I'm sorry I can't chat. I have to be off."

The school teacher looked down at his student and gave her a half-hearted glare before continuing, " _Someone_ has to get this young lady back to her parents."

As John led Harmony away, he bid Rose and the Doctor farewell. "Have a nice day, Doctor House, Lisa."

When the two were out of earshot, Rose sighed and said, "I can't believe that man is a school teacher."

The Doctor didn't respond to that. Intstead, he questioned her aliases. "Doctor Greg House and Lisa Cuddy?"

Rose, a little embarrassed, said, "They were the first names to come to mind. They're from this American television programme that my cousin, Joe- you've met him- introduced me to. He thinks that Hugh Laurie is 'the most dashing man alive'. I do agree that he is quite dashing."

The Doctor frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. He was _not_ sulking. Centuries-old Time Lords did not sulk. Rose noticed this and rolled her eyes. Hooking her arm around the Doctor's, the blonde said, "Don't worry, Doctor. I'm sure that some people consider you dashing, too."

"Oh, thanks a lot!" The Doctor said sarcastically

Only until they hailed a taxi did they release eachother. Once they were out of the vehicle, they were arm in arm again. As they walked back to the TARDIS, Rose leaned into the Doctor's arm and said, "Doctor?"

"Yeah?" the Doctor replied

"I like you better than Doctor House." Rose said with a smile.

"Because I'm not a fictional character?" the Doctor questioned, returning that smile.

"Because you're less of an arsehole." Rose replied.

"That's good to know." the Doctor said with a chuckle.

"Doctor?" Rose said his name again.

"What?" the Doctor questioned.

"About what was said earlier, about you being dashing?" Rose returned to the subject.

"Yes, yes." the Doctor replied. "I'm not as dashing as Hugh Laurie."

"No, not really." Rose said with a smile.

The Doctor's face fell slightly. Why did she need to bring it up, then? It wasn't as if it mattered whether Rose Tyler thought that the Doctor was dashing or not. It actually came as a surprise to the Doctor when Rose said, "I think you're more dashing than Hugh Laurie."

The Doctor beamed at his companion. His brave, wonderful, beautiful companion who always saw the best in him and always brought out the best in him. He decided that, in the end, it wouldn't really matter whether she thought he was incredibly dashing or not. All that mattered was that she would be at his side for as long as she could, and he would be at her side for as long as he could. In the end, that was what really mattered. One could go an entire lifetime without meeting someone like Rose Tyler a second time. He was her greatest friend, just as she was his. If this was true, then why, the Doctor wondered, did the knowledge that they were friends hurt so much?


End file.
